Archive for the ‘English blog posts’ Category


WHEN I FORGET MYSELF – I feel I lack something. The moment feels so empty. I feel so bored. Isn’t there something going on? Let me check my phone, e-mail, Facebook. Maybe something is happening? Maybe something better, more or different, than just this moment? I am always looking for another experience than the one I have right now. What’s wrong with me?

IT WORKS EVERY TIME – because when there is an exciting e-mail – I experience a little high. A small dose of dopamine is injected into my brain and I feel BLISS. But after a short while, when I have read the e-mail and it wasn’t as exciting after all, the bliss is gone – I experience boredom again. But then its time for lunch! I can enjoy that nice sandwich. The bliss is right back!

AND SO IT GOES. As long as I keep the good experiences coming, problem solved. Not quite. Because pain comes when the experience goes. And the pain continues as it arises in the mind as a desire to experience it one more time. So all day long I am busy chasing experiences so I can experience as much bliss as possible. And at the same time trying to avoid experiences that give pain. Just like a running wheel for mice. It is the wheel of samsara. The wheel of the endless desire, satisfaction, pain, desire, satisfaction, pain, desire, satisfaction, pain, desire, satisfaction, pain, desire, satisfaction, pain, desire………


THE WAY OUT is to return to the SELF. It is to realize that I am the source of my happiness. Experiences come and go, but I am always the same, before and after an experience. What makes me experience bliss when a desire is fulfilled is not the experience, but the experience removes my feeling of lack. When the feeling of lack disappears, bliss which is my true nature appear. It has been there all along, but has been suppressed by my feeling of lack.

THE SELF IS AWARENESS, existence and consciousness. This is who I am. All experience appears in me. Without me, there is no experience. All experience is an experience of myself. The SELF is always blissful because it lacks nothing. It is full, whole, complete and contains everything. There is no place where existence and consciousness is not. It is like space. There is no place not permeated by space.

BLISS, WHICH IS MY TRUE NATURE, is hidden from me, because I consciously or particularly subconsciously, tell myself I lack something. But I am longing for what I already have. I think an experience can solve my problem, and it does, but only temporarily, until a new desire comes along. When I return to the SELF, realizing who I am, temporary satisfaction transforms into permanent contentment. That is the trick – return to the SELF.

MY HAPPINESS is not dependent on experience – I am always happy – happiness is my nature. Remove the feeling of lack, which is caused by my wrong identification with the person that I think I am: This limited person with a body, personality, relations, job, education, history and a place to live. Instead identify with who I really am: Infinite existence, consciouness and bliss. I was never born, I will never die. My own awareness. So simple. It is always there.

IT IS ALWAYS THERE, but is not being noticed. It is like seeing a hand, and not being aware of the light making it possible to see the hand at all. Awareness is the light, making it possible to experience anything at all. As Jesus said: «I am the light of the world.» He knew who he was. Do YOU?

So what do YOU lack right now to be happy?


PS. «The one who does not feed the senses, the senses returns to the Self, leaving the longing behind.» Bhagavad Gita.

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I know who I am. The search is over. I cracked the code of life. I understand the game, how the world of illusion is a set up. I am like the slave in Plato’s cave who understand that the world I experience is just a projection onto a screen. I have broken the chains of ignorance. I can walk out and unite myself with the light source of consciousness. The source of life giving life to all. I am intellectually free.

To be intellectually enlightened is not enlightenment, awakening, moksha or Self-realization. But is better than nothing. It is only a beginning and a small, but important step towards true awakening to my own being.

The problem with intellectual enlightenment is that it applies only to 10% of my mind. The rest 90% is still deeply conditioned into believing that I am this body, personality and with a package of experiences, a story, relationships, talents, age, gender, nationality etc. I still have a slave mentality, although I intellectually have freed my self.

Enlightenment is still more that increasing this percentage up to 100%, it is also to go beyond the mind. To transcend the mind and experience consciousness. This is logical and intellectually impossible. It is as difficult as for a torch to light on itself, or an eye to see itself without a mirror. But it can happen because consciousness is self aware. Consciousness is the light that shines by itself, and does not need another source of light.

Consciousness is non-dual. The one without the other. Consciousness is all there is. There is nothing outside of consciousness and existence.  That consciousness projects a dualistic world of opposites is equally impossible. Maya or the dualistic world of illusion is called what makes the impossible possible. Enlightenment is reversed Maya, making the impossibility of experiencing the Self possible through the transcendence of the mind.

There are no techniques for transcendence, equally as there are no techniques for falling asleep, or waking up from sleep to the waking state. It can happen for the one who has made the right preparations becoming qualified through spiritual practice.

To experience the Self is not an experience in the normal sense where there is an experiencer and the experienced. Enlightenment is pure awareness experiencing its own being, limitlessness and bliss, without an ego to take ownership of the experience.

To be intellectually enlightened is not bad. I highly recommend it. It gives a lot of peace, insight and confidence, but it is not enlightenment. It is only a beginning. It takes you to the roof and the limits of the mind where the next step is transcendence.

Transcendence can take place through other paths, the intellectual understanding is not the only way. The paths of love, action and meditation are equally important. But to know what you are doing is always good.


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Materialistic science is the most destructive and evil ideology and religion on Earth. It kills everything it touches. It kills the living spirit of life, turning human beings into machines. We live in a world full of life, soul and conscious beings – not a dead universe of dead objects. Never have man been so lonely looking into a dead universe, – deprived of contact and knowledge if own true spirit and soul. Materialistic science is the biggest crime done to humanity ever.

Of course some good have come out of science, but science today is an evil enterprise, because if its materialistic world view, believing the physical world to be real. Original science knew that life is a consciousness phenomenon.

Consciousness is real, and the world is an illusion, apparently real. Science has turned this up side down. The physical world is real – and consciousness, spirit and God is an illusion. At best it is just ignorant – at worst it is truly demonic and evil.

What cruelty is not being done to animals in the holy name of science and industry? The atomic bomb was dropped over Japan just to see how it worked. (Japan’s request for negotiation was ignored.) Thousand of jews where experimented on in concentrations camps. The medical system kills more people than it cures. Polution of earth, water and air thanks to science and technology is killing us – etc. etc.

God said man would die if he ate of The Tree of Knowledge.
Maybe he was right?

True science needs to be restored!

PS. If you are a materialist this is VERY difficult to understand. Because you are totally programmed to believe the physical world and your sense experience of objects is the only reality. Thoughts and feelings are also objects known to you, so is your body. But ask yourself, are you an object or a subject? If you believe you are a subject and exist (which you cannot deny by the way)  – where is it? In the brain? Existence is not an object. Existence just is – it is life and consciousness and can never become an object. Not to understand this is ignorance – and the fundamental cause of all suffering. The human challenge is to solve this and be free.

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  • Love and hate are not opposites – it is the same. Love is whatever you give attention too. Hate is negative love. The opposite of love is indifference.
  • Love is your nature – so everything I do – I do out of love. People who commit suicide do it because they love themselves. They want to get rid of the pain. I scratch a musqito bite because I want to feel good all the time – that’s how much I love myself.
  • If depression was my nature – I would be happy when depressed.
  • We don’t need love – we are love.
  • Immature love is directed towards likes and dislikes. Mature love is directed towards what is right, and avoid what is wrong.
  • Overcome fear and ignorance – be brave to love in the right way.

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«Only from the standpoint of the physical bodies, there is plurality, and not from the standpoint of consciousness. There are no differences in consciousness (atman).»
Swami Dayananda – Bhagavad Gita Home Study Course Vol 2 – p. 60.

SEEING A FILM is a whole experience. I would normally just say; «Last night I saw a film.» People are generally bored with hearing about the details of a film – therefore I just say; I saw such and such film. About my life I could just as well say, also not to bore my listeners; «Yesterday, I had a waking experience.»

A FILM IS different from my life, because in the film I am a witness. But in my life it seems like I am participating, but I am still a witness. A film is not real, it is only a fantasy projected onto a screen. My life seems real, but not from the point of view of consciousness.

A FILM COMES from a source of light in the projector. A strip of film or a whole series of digital codes are passed between the light source and the lens. This energy of light in different detailed structures then becomes projected onto the screen, and all the action takes place. All the people, things and objects in the film may look separate, but in fact is all just light in different forms and shapes.

PLATO ILLUSTRATED this long ago in his famous Cave allegory. In an early historic version of a cinema, slaves are chained to the floor inside a cave and forced to face a screen in front of them. Behind them there is a source of light, and between the light and the screen different sticks and artifacts are used to make different forms on the screen. The slaves perceive the images projected onto the screen to be real. Only a rare slave is able to break the chains of ignorance, change perspective, turn his head around, realize the true nature of the experience, and walk out into the light and be FREE.

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AS A CHILD I was totally acceptable to myself.
My reference point for my identity was AWARENESS
I identified myself as WAKEFUL PRESENCE.
I was just myself those days….
Life was simple, happy, joyful and extremely fascinating.
I wanted to explore everything.

THEN THEY told me that there was something WRONG with me.
They asked me what I was going to be when I grew up.
I was constantly asked about my age.
I was ignored or punished if I did or said something wrong.
I was encouraged and loved if I did or said something right.
I had nice parents, by all means, but they had another idea of who they were, than I had.
Little, by little they taught me their view of who I am.

WHEN I ARRIVED on the planet I was a NO-BODY.
My parents had made their way in life, they were SOME-BODY.
After completing their SOME-BODY training, I have become a SOME-BODY too.
Now I have all these ideas of who I am.

NOW I BELIEVE I am my body first of all, with a charming personality, by the way. I am much liked. The personality is not perfect, but I get by. I am special. I have a history, education, age, nationality, friends, relations, an electric bicycle, credit card, a lot of nice possessions and a good place to live. I don’t like to be ignored, criticized or not valued – because I am SOME-BODY. I have made my way in life. I deserve respect.

I TAKE MYSELF very seriously – I love and respect myself.
Actually everything I do – I do for myself – that is how much I love myself.
Even to scratch a mosquito bite, I do because I want to feel good all the time.

BUT – is this who I am?
During my SOME-BODY training the point of identity shifted.
Because I now identity with this superficial person that I think I am, I am not acceptable to myself. I am simply not good enough. There is always something missing. I could be better, different or have higher value. I accept myself when I get what I want, and have contempt and self hatred when I don’t.

ALL I NEED to do to be ACCEPTABLE TO MYSELF is to shift my identity back to when I was a NO-BODY. I am not this body, personality, feelings, thoughts, ego, gender, relations, possessions etc. I am AWARENESS. I am the PRESENCE in which the world appears.

ALL THE BEAUTY I experience is me. All the ugliness, pain, sorrow is also me. In fact the world as I experience it, is me. I am everything. When I understand this I realize that I am a complete NO-BODY. By being NO-BODY, I become everything.

LITTLE BY LITTLE, through shifting my identity I become ACCEPTABLE to myself – I start to LOVE myself – and the world is really a cool place. I am taking back the way I experienced myself and the world as a child.

Try it – you might like it.


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